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Shannon Spears

Shannon Spears is a staff writer for the Courier News.

And the water was too cold to jump in for cover ...

Monday, January 2, 2012

I would like to begin this recap of mine and The Police's vacation with a mini-rant. And this is how it starts. The woman who is the voice of our GPS system is drunk with power, teeming with sarcasm and must be stopped. That slightly-computerized-but-just-human-enough-to-sound-derisive voice is maddening and seriously threatens my self esteem as both a driver and a human being. So I made a wrong turn, so what? It's no big deal, people all over the world are currently making wrong turns at this very moment, and it has yet to bring on the apocalypse. But this chick that lives inside our GPS says "recalculating, please make a legal u-turn as soon as possible, you stupid ignorant sorry excuse for a driver." At least, that's how I remember it. And just because she knows where everything in the entire world is located does NOT make her better than me.

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